He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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