It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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