Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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