she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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