I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
