i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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