chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
