Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
