I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
