marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
