We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
