I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
