We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
