i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
