Yo dont text me then not text me
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
nutella sex= disaster
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
