I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
