just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
