Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
