I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
