i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
