I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
