he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
