i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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