i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
