I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
