I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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