I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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