ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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