So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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