YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
