he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize