I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
