The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
