So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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