The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
