Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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