Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
