It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
