hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize