im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
