what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
