I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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