so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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