it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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