he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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