worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
