I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
