if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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