I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
