3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You just made me feel so damn special
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
