his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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