dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
