READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just want nice things and good sex
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
