I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize