just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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