i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
