youre lurking in front of me
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
