I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
