Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
