Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
